Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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