had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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