If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
