Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
