its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
