How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
