I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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