ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
