I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
