a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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