we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
