wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
