her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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