i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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