Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
