i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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