So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Everything about him screamed your future.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
