well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
