if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
