FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
