imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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