she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
my liver is dry heaving
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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