She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
