My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
