Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
