Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
