Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
