so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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