i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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