I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
