we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
