I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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