does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
