I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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