is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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