I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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