P.S. I can't hear my feet
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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