Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
