think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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