he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
