"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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