this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
