i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
