so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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