So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
