This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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