there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
