I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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