Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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