see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
