Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
